


FAQ: The “Bear Fight” Portion of Your Yuletide Assignment

by Pegasus143



Category: FAQ: The "Snake Fight" Portion Of Your Thesis Defense (McSweeney's Post) - Luke Burns
Genre: Gen, Parody, Yuletide Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus143/pseuds/Pegasus143
Summary: Dear azvin,In response to the final portion of your letter, I have attached the relevant excerpt from the Yuletide FAQ. Unfortunately, it is all the information I can give you.Sincerely,Your Lovely Yuletide Author
Comments: 24
Kudos: 87
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	FAQ: The “Bear Fight” Portion of Your Yuletide Assignment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [azvin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/azvin/gifts).



**Q: Do I have to kill the bears?**

A: The Yuletide rules state that you have to “defeat” the bears. Some ways in which Yuletide writers have done this in the past include keeping notepads in odd places (such as in the shower or by their bedside), reviewing canon materials extensively, or attempting to pretend that Yuletide deadlines do not exist (though this one has had much more… mixed results). But, to get to the point: you cannot kill the bears. You can only defeat them.

**Q: Does everyone fight the same bears?**

A: No. While many Yuletide participants have fought similar – or sometimes even the exact same – bears, no two Yuletide writers have ever fought the exact same combination of bears.

**Q: How many bears will I have to fight?**

A: This depends on many different factors, including the quality of matching between writer and recipient.

**Q: Does my assigned recipient for Yuletide pick my bears?**

A: No. If there is a mismatch between the prompting and writing styles of the recipient and writer, there may be an increased likelihood of fighting more bears, but that depends on the mercy of the matching algorithm.

**Q: What does it mean if I get only one bear that is also very strong?**

A: Bear-picking is not yet understood by fandomologists. A bear may fight you from the time you get your assignment until an hour before the posting deadline. A bear may appear at the exact moment you planned to write your assignment. A bear may only grumble and swipe its claws in its sleep, but never harm you. Bear-picking is not yet understood by fandomologists.

**Q: When and where do I fight the bears?**

A: Bears typically appear near the posting deadline. However, they can appear at any time during Yuletide season and can attack at any point. They tend to reside in one’s typical writing location, and a fight may be temporarily avoided by changing to a new location. However, bears may still be waiting when you return, and may follow you to a different location if they are not too tired.

**Q: Would someone who wrote a 1,000 word crackfic and defeated many bears fulfill their Yuletide assignment? How about someone who wrote an 84,000 word plotty fic and defeated one bear?**

A: Yes. As long as the fic is in one of the recipient’s requested fandoms, contains all of the recipient’s requested characters (unless otherwise stated in their optional details), and does not contain any DNWs listed in the recipient’s sign-up, then the writer has fulfilled their Yuletide assignment.

**Q: So couldn’t you just write a fic of exactly 1,000 words where all of the recipient’s requested characters in one of their requested fandoms defeat bears in a way that does not cross any of their DNWs?**

A: Technically, yes. But the writer is likely to have fought many bears before deciding to write such a fic. Many bears, indeed.

**Q: Could the bears kill me?**

A: That almost never happens. But if you’re worried, just make sure you start your assignment early.

**Q: Why do I have to do this?**

A: You knew about this when you signed up for Yuletide, did you not? It was in the tags. But if you must know, it is a time-honored tradition alongside Dancing Hippos and Delivery Yulegoats.

**Q: This whole bear thing is just a metaphor, right?**

A: Was that a rhetorical question?


End file.
